“You”
Dom has a fun new game where he randomly shouts out animal names and then humiliates me by making me act them out for his own twisted amusement. (Just for the record, what the hell sound does a giraffe make? It’s keeping me up at night.) Anyway, I try to entice Dominic into acting out his favorite animals instead, because it’s infinitely cuter than a grown-ass man scratching his armpits and making monkey noises. Here is the actual transcript from a conversation I had with my son, proving that the intricacies of the English language are difficult to master:
Dom (pointing at me): Daddy why-in!
Me: Daddy was just the monkey, you be the lion
Dom: me why-in
Me: Yeah buddy, you be the lion. What’s a lion say?
Dom: no, me why-in!
Me: Wait, do you want me to be the lion?
Dom: O-kaaaay!
Me (doing an Oscar caliber lion impression): Roooooar!
Dom (while clapping his hands with delight at my genius): you sick-in. Cyuck-cyuck-cyuck
Me (flapping my arms like an ass-hat): I’m a chicken. Cluck cluck cluck cluck
Dom: no, you sick-in. Cyuck-cyuck-cyuck-cyuck
Me: yeah, I’m a chicken.
Dom (getting frustrated): no you sick-in! Cyuck-Cyuck-Cyuck
Me (the light bulb flips on in my brain and I run to get a photo album. I point to a picture of Dominic): Hey buddy, who is this?
Dom: You.
I think I finally figured out where Abbott and Costello got their inspiration. . .
August 30th, 2009 at 1:17 pm
Perfect!
It also took me a while to realize I was “me” and Sam was “you”. I mean if you think about it, we ask them things like “do you want ME to do this” and tell them “you bring the ball” so it only makes sense that they are you and you are me. Whoa, I just confused myself.