26
May
written by:     stored in: Lessons for Kids

Because I’d like to pass on my sedentary lifestyle to my son, we play a lot of MarioKart. The great outdoors are vastly over-rated in my opinion, and I’m pretty sure I’ve passed on both my allergies and my asthma to my son. Go run around outside? No thanks, I’d rather arouse my senses with [...]

That, right there to the left, is the bane of my existence: unused baby formula. Babies never drink every bottle in its entirety and over the course of the day this leftover formula adds up. It might be complete corporate bullshit, but every company that makes formula says: if your baby has not finished the bottle, do [...]

18
May
written by:     stored in: Dad Rant

When I began writing this post, I set out to chronicle the downward spiral that was Fred Savage’s career. After all, from what I could tell on the surface, his career peaked in the 80s when he tongue-kissed Winnie Cooper on The Wonder Years and descended into oblivion after he chose to voice Oswald, the [...]

This week we have two qualifying clips. Vote for your favorite in the comments section below. The winning clip will be saved for 13 years and shown to Dom’s first girlfriend, thus preserving his innocence for a few more weeks. Clip #1: Loyal readers will recognize Dom’s old nemesis, The Little Gym Olympian, mercilessly shoulder-checking [...]

10
May
written by:     stored in: Uncategorized

I guess the title of this post should actually read: Endometriosis Part XVII. The nurse just took Kerry back for her 17th endometriosis-related surgery over the last 11 years. This one includes a robotically assisted laproscopic stripping of endometriosis and a presacral neurectomy. I’m not going to revisit her medical history–I’ve already posted about Kerry’s [...]

06
May
written by:     stored in: Uncategorized
04
May
written by:     stored in: letters to corporate america

Last week I recorded my tragic encounter with Dixie’s Vanity Fair line of to-go coffee cups. Georgia Pacific, the company behind both brand names, sent an auto-reply stating that I would receive a response within 48 hours. Seven days of agonizing silence later, my righteous rage was is danger of becoming full-fledged blind fury. Lucky [...]

03
May
written by:     stored in: Dad Rant

I have two four month old twins. As a result of this we go through somewhere in the neighborhood of 13,492 bottles every day. As if the injustice of having to pay for the formula to fill those bottles isn’t bad enough, we also use Dr.Brown’s Bottles. For those of you unfamiliar with Dr.Brown’s bottles [...]

02
May

You get up early on the weekend to feed your kids, your old-lady is still in the sack and you want to make some delicious stone-cut oatmeal. Your water is boiling and you go to your pantry to get some dried fruit and honey for flavoring. Your honey looks odd though. Shitballs. That’s crystallized. You [...]