Six-month-olds are a fickle bunch.  Just starting to crawl, they’re no longer interested in swings or exersaucers, and your silly noises are now passé. 

Companies like Fischer-Price spends millions of dollars developing toys to stimulate your child’s rapidly expanding brain and they also spend quite a bit of money suckering you into buying them. 

Buy all of those toys you want, but I’ve got news for you: Your kid is going to ignore those toys. 

Those expensive toys littering your once immaculate floor will be nothing buy tiny speed bumps for your child as they make their way to the toys they really want to play with:

1. Spring Door Stop – If you have these spring door stops in your house, it will take about 27 seconds after you’re celebrating their first crawl before you hear the first “boooooiiiiiinnnngggg”. And from that point on the very first thing your child will crawl to when you put them on the floor is the closest door stop.  The best part is that children are mesmerized by these and it is how most kids learn “cause and effect”. I’m actually convinced that if you put 30 or 40 of these on a wall, you wouldn’t have to talk to the kid again until he’s 7.  Oh, and they are a steal at $1.50 each.

2. Television Remote Control – No matter where you try to hide it, your child will undoubtedly find your remote control and begin flipping through channels, leaving you in a situation where you need to explain to your wife why Chocolate Chicks Vanilla Dicks 4 is recorded on your DVR. This is not optimal.

The logical solution is of course to buy your child one of the many children’s toys that look like remote controls. Unfortunately, your child was born with a sixth sense for knowing which remote control actually changes the channel and which one just makes animal noises.  So what you need to do is pony-up the money for a real television remote, but just remember that $20 is much cheaper than a night in a hotel.

3. Any Toy That Was Originally Purchased for a Dog – I guarantee that if you place a six-month-old in a room with 100 hundred children’s toys and 1 dog toy, the kid will immediately locate the dog toy and place it in their mouth.  Once you get past the fact that your child and your pet are swapping spit, you realize that your kid playing with your dogs toys is a win-win.  Not only do you now only have to purchase one set of toys, but dog toys are generally a lot cheaper.

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