Round 1:

Combatants:

Twist

Dr. Dre

Career Began with:
Fresh Beat Band
NWA
Winner:
Dr. Dre

Hangs out with:

This Guy

Snoop Dogg
Winner:
Dr. Dre

Favorite Instrument:
Himself
Glock
Winner:
Dr. Dre

Final Verdict: Dr. Dre
I’m paraphrasing here, but Dr. Dre was “strapped with gats while Twist was cuddlin’ a Cabbage Patch.”
Round 2:

Combatants:

Twist

Vanilla Ice

Biggest Hit:
“Loco Legs”
“Ice Ice Baby”
Winner: Twist

Biggest Pickle:
Losing his voice while trying to find a word that rhymes with “music”
Being held [...]

Over the past week, 1-800-FLOWERS.com has shelled out some big bucks to show up across the Yahoo! and MSN homepages in an attempt to sell their Valentine’s Day flower arrangements. I say this as modestly as possible–it’s lucky for their shareholders that someone in their PR department was smart enough to realize that Notoriousdad.com pulls [...]

Last weekend we took a trip to the Cleveland Metroparks Rainforest with our friends Beth and Dwayne and their two little ones, Riley and Lilah (or as Dom calls them, “Wiley and Ya-ya”). As an aside, the Rainforest is fantastic for older toddlers. Everything is easily accessible and open, and it only takes about an [...]

“Oh, he’s calm. . .calm like a bomb” 
While my marriage may be a democracy, my relationship with my son is much closer to what I like to refer to as a “benign dictatorship.” As any good dictator knows, it’s important to suppress the will of the proletariat to prevent an uprising. In this, the first [...]

So for everybody I work with who reads this blog (read: the people who have the power to fire me), I’d like to apologize up front for the rather vulgar punch-line of this, my first post of 2010. I ask for mercy only on the basis that this is a true story and simply [...]

Uncle Vic had fun with his Facebook Profile pictures. The above is my favorite. He titled it “Alaskan Redneck”
My Uncle Victor passed away last night. He took his own life.
He had some horrible variety of cancer that was attacking his body and giving him agonizing back pain. While it likely wouldn’t have taken [...]

Dom didn’t get to go trick-or-treating yesterday. He had a pretty high fever and the buzzkill doctor said to keep him inside. We did as we were told. Does that make us good parents or bad parents?
Either way, Kerry and I were really sad for our little guy. We had spent the majority of the [...]

Too Many Contacts Deletes issue for Android Phones has an easy solution, find it here.

My brother was a senior at Toledo during my freshman year at Bowling Green. He was happy to buy me beer, but he me made me abide by one rule: I was only allowed to request Milwaukee’s Best or Natural Lite. He told me that good beer was wasted on the underage. He was absolutely [...]

“You” 
Dom has a fun new game where he randomly shouts out animal names and then humiliates me by making me act them out for his own twisted amusement. (Just for the record, what the hell sound does a giraffe make? It’s keeping me up at night.) Anyway, I try to entice Dominic into acting out [...]