Dominic before learning the harsh reality of a cruel and taco-less world Dear Mr. [Andy], (yes, I removed my last name even though you all know who I am) Thank you for taking the time to email us regarding our Ortega product.  Your comments and patronage are very much appreciated. (Clearly stock language from PR. [...]

Below is the letter I just submitted to the Ortega Website at http://ortega.com/, reproduced in its entirety. I think it speaks for itself. The horror. The horror. Product UPC: 4150100803 Manufacturer Filling Date Code: I have looked at the box for three minutes and have concluded that this number does not exist. Message Subject: The [...]

Round 1: Combatants: Twist Dr. Dre Career Began with: Fresh Beat Band NWA Winner: Dr. Dre Hangs out with: This Guy Snoop Dogg Winner: Dr. Dre Favorite Instrument: Himself Glock Winner: Dr. Dre Final Verdict: Dr. Dre I’m paraphrasing here, but Dr. Dre was “strapped with gats while Twist was cuddlin’ a Cabbage Patch.” Round [...]

Over the past week, 1-800-FLOWERS.com has shelled out some big bucks to show up across the Yahoo! and MSN homepages in an attempt to sell their Valentine’s Day flower arrangements. I say this as modestly as possible–it’s lucky for their shareholders that someone in their PR department was smart enough to realize that Notoriousdad.com pulls [...]

Last weekend we took a trip to the Cleveland Metroparks Rainforest with our friends Beth and Dwayne and their two little ones, Riley and Lilah (or as Dom calls them, “Wiley and Ya-ya”). As an aside, the Rainforest is fantastic for older toddlers. Everything is easily accessible and open, and it only takes about an [...]

“Oh, he’s calm. . .calm like a bomb”  While my marriage may be a democracy, my relationship with my son is much closer to what I like to refer to as a “benign dictatorship.” As any good dictator knows, it’s important to suppress the will of the proletariat to prevent an uprising. In this, the [...]

So for everybody I work with who reads this blog (read: the people who have the power to fire me), I’d like to apologize up front for the rather vulgar punch-line of this, my first post of 2010. I ask for mercy only on the basis that this is a true story and simply too [...]

Uncle Vic had fun with his Facebook Profile pictures. The above is my favorite. He titled it “Alaskan Redneck” My Uncle Victor passed away last night. He took his own life. He had some horrible variety of cancer that was attacking his body and giving him agonizing back pain. While it likely wouldn’t have taken [...]

Dom didn’t get to go trick-or-treating yesterday. He had a pretty high fever and the buzzkill doctor said to keep him inside. We did as we were told. Does that make us good parents or bad parents? Either way, Kerry and I were really sad for our little guy. We had spent the majority of [...]

Too Many Contacts Deletes issue for Android Phones has an easy solution, find it here.