Well, it took 31 years, but I can officially name something worthwhile that came out of France. I know a few weeks ago I was schilling for the Germans by promoting Shleich’s line of realistic animal figurines (here, if you missed it), but a French company, Papo, is the undisputed king of the Jurassic. It’s [...]
Pictured above is a small fraction of Dominic’s toy menagerie, many of which come from the Schleich product line. Are you familiar with these toy animals? There’s a reason why “Schleich” rhymes with “Reich”–they’re both German, and they’re both evil. All are made from heavy-duty plastic and are anatomically correct. That’s right folks, you read [...]
It has been some time my faithful readers. I didn’t mean to deny you the drug that is notoriousdad.com for so long, but a man of my unique talents is in high demand. I make no apologies for focusing my unique brand of humor, rugged good looks, and raw charisma in other directions for the [...]
I’ve decided to skip my recent run of hilarious letters to corporate America and return to my roots: potty humor. This is a dad blog after all. Dom’s 3rd birthday is rapidly approaching and up until this week, he was still having trouble understanding why anyone in their right mind would inconvenience themselves by using [...]
Here is the email I just submitted to Nickelodeon, reproduced in its entirety: Dear Nick Jr. Program Director, I must reluctantly thank you for moving The Fresh Beat Band to the 6:30 time slot. It has inspired me to take my son outside and enjoy the cool summer evenings. As an added bonus, we usually [...]
Here is the note I just received from Church and Dwight, with comments added in blue. My response is below. Dear Andy, (again, I removed my last name even though only my family reads this crap) Thank you for contacting us recently regarding Church & Dwight Co., Inc. products. (you’re welcome) In order to fully [...]
Below is the actual email I just submitted to the Church and Dwight Consumer Relationships Department. I hope they understand the gravity of this situation. I also received an automated response that is copied below my letter. Product: Arrid Ultima 1.8 oz Antiperspirant Deododorant UPC: 2260017167 Lot #: L9105EX04-11 Dear Arrid XX Dry Marketing [...]
Dominic before learning the harsh reality of a cruel and taco-less world Dear Mr. [Andy], (yes, I removed my last name even though you all know who I am) Thank you for taking the time to email us regarding our Ortega product. Your comments and patronage are very much appreciated. (Clearly stock language from PR. [...]
Below is the letter I just submitted to the Ortega Website at http://ortega.com/, reproduced in its entirety. I think it speaks for itself. The horror. The horror. Product UPC: 4150100803 Manufacturer Filling Date Code: I have looked at the box for three minutes and have concluded that this number does not exist. Message Subject: The [...]
Over the past week, 1-800-FLOWERS.com has shelled out some big bucks to show up across the Yahoo! and MSN homepages in an attempt to sell their Valentine’s Day flower arrangements. I say this as modestly as possible–it’s lucky for their shareholders that someone in their PR department was smart enough to realize that Notoriousdad.com pulls [...]