I thought Friday was the night. Conditions were perfect. Dom picked his Elmo Potty Time Video to watch before bed, Kerry watched him chug two cups of water before I got home from work, and I was feeling lucky. Conditions were perfect.

Right as Elmo’s dad was having a little pee-pee party for Elmo, Kerry unveiled Dom’s potty in all its glory, to which he cheered and yelled “potty, potty, peeeeee, poopoo.” I removed his diaper and prepared to pounce like a jaguar at the first sign of tinkle. Tonight was the night. Conditions were perfect.

Here’s a quick summary of the rest of Dom’s evening:   

“No-pants, No problem” dance party during the “Potty Time Song”

Taint rubbing every square inch of the area rug

New acquaintance with genitals

A single solitary drop of urine in the potty

• Pirate Potty
• Elmo Live is the Devil
• Pacifier Addicts
• Dom’s “Special Purpose”
• Taco Night Tragedy