Round 1:
| Combatants: |  Twist |
 Dr. Dre |
|
| Career Began with: | Fresh Beat Band | NWA | Winner: Dr. Dre |
| Hangs out with: |  This Guy |
 Snoop Dogg |
Winner: Dr. Dre |
| Favorite Instrument: | Himself | Glock | Winner: Dr. Dre |
Final Verdict: Dr. Dre
I’m paraphrasing here, but Dr. Dre was “strapped with gats while Twist was cuddlin’ a Cabbage Patch.”
Round 2:
| Combatants: | Twist |
 Vanilla Ice |
|
| Biggest Hit: | “Loco Legs” | “Ice Ice Baby” | Winner: Twist |
| Biggest Pickle: | Losing his voice while trying to find a word that rhymes with “music” | Being held by the ankles off of a 20th floor balcony by Suge Knight | Winner: Vanilla Ice |
| When He Knew He had Hit Rock Bottom: | Joined the Fresh Beat Band | Attempted suicide via drug overdose | Winner: Vanilla Ice |
Final Verdict: Vanilla Ice
Rob Van Winkle would wax this chump like a candle.
Round 3:
| Combatants: | Twist |
 Dominic Victor |
|
| Thing he loves more than anything: | Singing, Dancing, and Friendship | Juice | Winner: Dominic Victor |
| Favorite Expression: | “sweet” | “mo’ juice, mo’ juice” | Winner: Dominic Victor |
| Prettiest woman he’s ever laid eyes on: | Kiki |
 Mommy |
Winner: Dominic Victor |
| Biggest Life Challenge: | Learning a dance that Kiki choreographed | Urinating in a designated receptacle | Winner: Dominic Victor |
Final Verdict: Dominic Victor
Dominic already knows how to say, “what-what, WESTIDE,” and does his best to get his fingers into a “W.” Seriously, my kid rules.
Tagged with: fresh beat band • kiki • twist
February 24th, 2010 at 7:54 pm
Love it. Also I think mommy could kick Kiki’s you know what!
February 24th, 2010 at 9:10 pm
Freakin’ hilarious….nice writing sweetie. Maybe I think it is doubly funny because I know all of the players in the “Rap Battle”. Nicely done.
February 25th, 2010 at 8:47 am
You can say ass Kelly, we’re all adults here.
May 19th, 2010 at 11:00 am
Love it. Also I think mommy could kick Kiki’s you know what!
June 21st, 2010 at 8:07 pm
[...] case you need more convincing, you can visit my blog at http://www.notoriousdad.com and review the epic rap battle between Twist and Dr. Dre. SPOILER ALERT: Twist doesn’t fare too [...]