Which makes no sense, because I shave with a disposable razor and water, I don’t use conditioner, and I use a bar of whatever soap is available that month at Costco.

The rest of the shit just sits there. Stuff that seemed like a good idea when I was at the store… “Ooooh, I’ll bet Burt’s Bees Shave Cream will eliminate my adult acne, prevent slicing open my chin, take 2 inches off my waist, and give me a more refined taste in single malt Scotches…”

And, while it does none of the above, it’s hard to justify throwing away a tube of shave cream that costs $3.87 an ounce.