Tim Sandwich Artist: Hi, welcome to Subway.

[Never looks up, continues to fiddle with a bag of broccoli cheddar soup]

Randy: Duuuuude, baby, what it is, what it is?

Sandwich Artist: What kind of bread would you like?

Randy: Ehhhh, I don’t know dog. This is hard man, this is hard.

[Fiddles with the whiskers on his chin while looking intently at 6 loaves of bread]

Sandwich Artist: I’d go with the Honey Oat, it’s got oats on it.

Randy: Hawwwww man, I like it. You know what I like about it is that even though it’s a little yeasty at times, it’s still able to bring me back in with the oat. I like it man.

Sandwich Artist: What kind of sandwich can I make for you?

Randy: Yo dog, dog, you even have to ask? Chicken Bacon Ranch, baby! Love that ranch, dude, feelin’ it, ranch is where it’s at yo!

Sandwich Artist: Alright. Would you like cheese?

Randy: I’m going to say 100% yes!

Sandwich Artist: Toasted?

Randy: I’m going to say 1000% yes!

[Guy slides the sandwich on to the tray for the toaster. Both awkwardly await for the toasting to commence]

Sandwich Artist: Would you like any vegetables on here?

Randy: Duuuude, dawwwwwg, duuuuuuude, no.

Sandwich Artist: What about the ranch?

Randy: Six-hundred-million-thousand-hundred percent yes!

[A small amount of ranch is applied]

Randy: Duuude, it’s just like it doesn’t have enough UUUUGGGGGHHHHH! Come on man, UUUUGGGGGHHHHH!

[Ranch completely covers every available inch of the sandwich]

Randy: Dawg, dawg, dawg! That’s what I’m talkin bout! I felt that, I felt that.

[Thumps chest with fist, repeatedly]

Sandwich Artist: Would you like to make this a combo today?

Randy: No. Sorry duuuude. Today’s not your day man.

Sandwich Artist: Okay then, that will be $6.18.

[Pays with diamond from his watch face]

Sandwich Artist: Thank you, have a good day.

Randy: Once you got started you had it goin’ on! I was like WHAAAAAAT! Just really classy man, you made it your own. Awesome. Awesome.

[Randy walks out. Sandwich artist goes back to fiddling with the bag of soup]